Inspiring and empowering people to maximize their quality of life in spite of a chronic health condition or a disability

STEPS TO CHANGE

  Issue # 8                                                                                                                                                                     December  2004

This ezine is 100% opt-in.  You are receiving it because you subscribed but may cancel by using the link at the end of this message.

      IN THIS ISSUE

 

TRAVELS WITH TRISH

FEATURE ARTICLE Communication:   Who, When & What to Tell?

FEEDBACK FORUM

CHUCKLES TO LIGHTEN YOUR DAY

FR~EE RESOURCES

WORDS TO CONSIDER

ABOUT TRISH

 

A chronic health condition can be a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. 

Are you ready to break free of the bindings that are holding you back from discovering your own personal level of optimal health?

 We all have one – no matter what the condition is that ails us.  

I challenge you to want to discover yours!

I take people from an overwhelmed existence to a comfortably paced lifestyle. 

Are you ready for that journey?

Contact me today for a fr~ee sample coaching session and get started on living your maximum life.

TRAVELS WITH TRISH

Are you stressed to the max with the holiday season or are you taking it as it comes?  You do have a choice you know.  There's never going to be a better time than now to start taking it all in stride.  The shopping, the decorating, the wrapping, the visiting, the cooking, the entertaining - this isn't a set of mandatory requirements for a warm, festive family holiday season.   Keeping it as simple as possible is just about the healthiest route to take to keeping it sane.  Try buying instead of cooking, gift bags instead of wrapping, a little decorating instead of lots, keeping shopping simple instead of driving all over God's creation to get "the right" gift.  It all adds up.  Take the time to rest and enjoy the season at a pace that's right for you!

With that in mind, please plan to take a few moments this week on the afternoon of Wednesday the 22nd to tune into CHUM CP24 www.Pulse24.com to see David Onley interview me!  David anchors from 2:00 - 3:00 pm (EST) and I have no idea which five minutes during that period that I'll be on.  You can either check with your cable company to see if they carry the CP24 broadcast or you can watch it live from their website.  Just click on the link above and look for the CP24LIVE link half way down on the right hand side. Test it out now to make sure you've got the plug-ins on your computer that you need.  If you don't, you'll be prompted to download them for free.  Email me if you get to see the interview.  I'd love your feedback!

From our house to yours, Ernest and I are wishing you and your family a safe and happy Holiday Season ~ and best wishes for a prosperous New Year!

FEATURE ARTICLE

COMMUNICATION:  WHO, WHEN & WHAT TO TELL?

If you’re a talker, it’s easy to share what you’re going through with others.  In fact, sometimes, those you’re talking to may find themselves looking for your “OFF” switch.  <smile>   But for many, talking about our health condition takes us way outside our comfort zone.

It’s hard to know where to start and where to end.  Many don’t share at all, for fear of standing out by drawing attention to their special needs.  We don’t want to be different or seen as “whining” about it.  But in the end, telling others may be a necessary strategy to seeing that our needs are met or our perspectives understood.

As with anything else, there’s a learning curve involved.  We need to discover what language to use to find out what people will respond to.  The most effective tact is to take a non-demanding expression of our specific issues and needs.  If we think of ourselves as “educating” those around us, we’re less likely to take a dismissal of our comments personally.

The first question to address is “Who do we need to tell?”  This question can be answered by using the “need to know” principle.  If they don’t need to know, there’s no need to tell them.  On the other hand, if someone asks, there’s no need to be secretive either.  Answer the question as simply as possible within your comfort level. 

There really are people who ask because they care and if you’re secretive with your answer, it may project a lack of trust on your part.  If someone takes the time to ask, this is an opportunity to enlist allies into your personal support network.  Odds are these allies will prove very helpful in future times of trouble with your health.

A topic that’s quite hot is whether or not to tell an employer; but this can be handled well with common sense and objectivity.  If your health isn’t affecting your ability to do your job, then there’s no real reason to go there.  If on the other hand, your energy level requires you to rest during the day, a proactive discussion with your employer about using the couch in the employees’ lounge twice a day could prove quite effective in the long run for enabling you to stay on the job.

The next question is “When to tell?”  The best rule of thumb is in advance of critical situations.  If we share our circumstance with someone who cares when it’s not critical, they’ll be the first to lend a helping hand when the situation is critical.  Telling people up front gives them realistic expectations.

There is another “When” issue to consider for those of us who have changing needs as our illness progresses or our health condition fluctuates.  When our abilities or our needs change, we must re-educate those around us.  This is particularly relevant if ours is one of the “invisible” illnesses or disabilities.

The last question to address here is the “What to tell?”  As is the norm for most things in life, the truth is the best way to go.  Keep it simple.  Give them the short version, go with your gut and wait for further questions.  There’s no need to give them the specialist’s version of what’s going on, give them the elementary school version.  The more basic the explanation, the more effective your message will be.  The motive is for people to understand your needs as opposed to comprehending the pathology of your illness.  If they ask further questions then give them additional information, otherwise, reserve the rest for those who are interested.

The bottom line with who, when and what to tell others is to be genuine, as objective as possible, be tactful and to be non-judgmental of those who don’t understand.  They’ve never walked in your shoes.  Last but not least, don’t be afraid to use humour.  Humour has the capacity to transcend tension and discomfort.

Most people are surprisingly accommodating.  If you embrace your role as one of an educator, you’ll often find that the light bulb goes on and people are usually appreciative of you taking the time to explain.

Don’t be afraid to talk about it; communication breaks down barriers.  The last thing those of us with an illness or a disability need is another un-addressed barrier.  When you remove barriers, you pave the way not just for yourself to access fair and equitable treatment but for the rest of us as well.

FEEDBACK FORUM

"Thanks Trish. I'm so excited about this process!! I'm really happy working with you...........you are fabulous at what you do! This process is improving my life by leaps and bounds!"

KN is a Manager of a Client Support Program who lives with Endometriosis & Chronic Pain

CHUCKLES TO LIGHTEN YOUR DAY

FR~EE RESOURCES

TeleSupport Group

Support for People with a Chronic Health Condition

(membership is a $10 per month value – yours FREE)

Held the 1st Thurs of every month 7:00 to 8:00 pm (Eastern)

What's a TeleSupport Group?

Glad you asked that!  It's like an in-person support group meeting in that there is a facilitator (me) and there'll be participants (yes, hopefully you) and we'll be getting together to share the challenges and successes we've experienced living with a chronic health condition.  The differences are that you don’t have to leave your house, you don’t have to drive to some distant location and you don’t even have to get dressed! 

How do I join?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TeleClass

Essential Elements of Living Well with Chronic Illness

A multi-part series - content changes every other month

(this event is a $30 per month value – yours FREE)

WORDS TO CONSIDER

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.  He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.  

As his car passed, no children appeared.  Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!   He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.  

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?  Just what the heck are you doing?  That's a new car and that brick you threw just caused allot of expensive damage. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic.  "Please, mister.  Please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"  He pleaded.  "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."  With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.  

"It's my brother," he said.  "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."  Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair?  He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat.  He hurriedly lifted the disabled boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.  A quick look told him everything was going to be okay...

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.  

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.  The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts.  Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.  It's our choice to listen or not.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.  If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.  He sends you flowers every spring.  He sends you a sunrise every morning.  Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!  God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

ABOUT TRISH

Trish Robichaud is a Maximum Life Coach living with multiple sclerosis.  She's grateful to have been blessed with a God-given, instinctive ability for seeing assets in people and then reflecting those assets back to them. This enables her clients to confidently reach for and unleash their full potential.  

She facilitates TeleClasses and a monthly TeleSupport Group at no charge to participants as well as publishes a free monthly electronic newsletter.  Her background is in business with training in supportive counselling and life skills facilitation.  

Together with her experience advocating for people with disabilities, this makes her ideally suited to coaching others through their life and vocational transitions. She can be found on the web at www.ChangingPaces.com.